I can be your hero, lady

I've been riding my bike like mad over here and as a result my legs are slowly morphing into tree trunks. My muscles keep getting shorter and fatter and the next time you see me there's a good chance my legs will be approximately  three inches in length. Despite this fact I refuse to stop riding my bike and switch up my workouts. I happen to love riding more than just about anything else so not even short, stubby legs will deter me.

It's still quite warm every morning when I leave for my rides but even so, I am starting to panic about the cooler weather. Every year I take a few weeks off when it gets cold and chilly and I don't want to do that this year so I think I'll be prepared  and buy cold weather gear and suck it up and go out no matter how low the temperature gets. I just want to avoid that hideous look I get on my face when bitter winds are whipping me right in the face. You  know the one. Lips pursed, eyes squinting, tears streaming down my cheeks as I try not to scream out cuss words. The combination of my three inch legs and that look on my face sounds pretty sexy, doesn't it? Greg is one lucky guy!

This morning I left right around 6:10 and the moon was still out and shining over Lake Gertude and Lake Dora. Perfect riding weather. As I was finishing up my Lakeshore Drive portion of my ride, I pulled over at a stop sign to take a quick water break and an older woman pulled up alongside me in her gorgeous, shiny Mercedes. I thought, "oh, geez, she's gonna be a do gooder and ask if I need money," because yes, I still look like a homeless person when I ride. By the way, I would have taken something if she gave it to me. I'm not above that at all. Instead, she rolled down her window and said she would rather be riding her bike than heading off to work. I said, "yeah, sucks being you, you rich bitch." No, I didn't say that. But that would have been funny, right? Actually what I said was something about how yes, I'm quite glad I get a chance to ride everyday in the early morning hours, but really, don't be too jealous, I have four kids at home depending on me to educate and feed them and they almost never leave me alone.

It seems she really didn't want to go to work because she then told me how sad she was to hear about Lance Armstrong basically admitting he was a cheater, which come on lady, how naive are you, professional athletes these days are all cheaters, get over it. She asked who we could look up to now, where are all the biking heroes, and then I pointed at myself and smiled. Really, I will be your biking hero, lady. You can even sponsor me and buy me a new bike if you want.

I saw Lance Armstrong on Oprah once. He seemed to be concerned that some people may not realize how amazing he was so he spent a good portion of the interview reminding everyone. Anyway, now that he's no longer the biking world's hero ( although I'm pretty sure most people don't care about the cheating thing) I'm willing to step in. 

My life is pretty heroic. Every night I go to bed after a hard day (no need to elaborate on that one, just trust me, it's very hard!), only to be woken at 2 a.m. by my husband's snoring, at which point I go out to the couch and kick Buster off so I can catch some more sleep and then I wake at 5:30 am and make my toast and  coffee and proceed to ride my bike for a couple of hours for no other reason than it makes me happy. And now that I'm going to be riding in cold weather for the two weeks out of the year that it actually gets cold in Florida, I'm even more heroic. Go ahead and be dazzled. 

Summer 2012

Summer vacation. It's almost over. Here's a list of summer things. It's a boring list, really. But it will make you feel better about your own summer, so that's good for you.

1) Ate at the new vegan/ raw food restaurant in town. Food was terrific. The explosive inner turmoil (not of the existential kind) I felt within ten minutes of leaving the restaurant was not terrific. Thankfully I'm not shy about expressing my discomfort to anyone within earshot, so my incessant wailing and complaining for the twenty fours hours it took for the ridiculous amount of fiber to move through my body made things more delightful for me (and my loved ones).

2) Travelled with the kids to North Carolina to see Kate play in her all star tournament. It was exciting, except for the part where I had some kind of infection and felt like garbage and was coughing like a woman who smokes two packs a day. Not sure I've ever missed Greg so much in my life. The games were some of the best I've seen though. Aside from taking Kate to see the Avett Brothers last February, I'm not sure I've ever been this excited for her.

3) Volunteered at vacation bible school and thoroughly enjoyed it. No, I really did. Someone is reading this and thinking I'm being sarcastic. Even I was shocked when I found myself looking forward to going in to see the kids everyday.

4) Drove Jane to a very lucrative babysitting gig for two weeks in which she made a lot of money. Suddenly found myself jealous of my teenage daughter's financial status.

5) Rode my bike for countless hours and still managed to stay fat, but I am not bitter about this. Not a single bit.

6) Celebrated Jane's sixteenth birthday. Had explosive inner turmoil ( of the existential kind). I do not like the way time is moving forward without asking me what I think. I suddenly find myself almost bursting into tears when I see young moms carrying their babies or walking with their little toddlers. I have become a hideous middle aged cliche. The woman grasping at straws to keep things just as they always were.

7) Recently started going back to daily Mass. Not because I feel like it though. Truthfully, I most often don't feel like it. But I go anyway. And am never sorry when I leave.

8) Cut Maggie's hair because she began talking about her "rat's nest"  as though it were an appendage. It had become part of her and when I cut it off she told us it felt weird without it there. She became convinced that mice lived in her hair during her sleeping hours and when I told her no, that wasn't true, she cried and said it was true, she could feel them sleeping in there and they would leave every morning. Now that the rat's nest is gone I have no idea where the mice are sleeping. And yes, I did comb her hair, but no matter what we did the rat's nest would appear again and again and again. She has a cute bob now and it will stay like that until she is at least ten and can comb her own hair.