Saturday, April 21, 2012

Hey there, capicola farts

Blogger changed all of its settings. I found this highly irritating, as I hate when things change without anyone consulting me first. And then there was the problem of trying to compose a new post on a site that suddenly looked completely different. I'm not bright, so I got confused and walked away from the computer in an annoyed state. Then I got bored and came back to the computer. That's how most of my days go.

I'm glad I came back, too, because I ended up accidentally finding a statistics page in which I learned all kinds of interesting things about my site. Some of the things I already knew, like no one is really reading my blog, but other things were enlightening. For example, two people came here after searching for "capicola farts" and another two came searching for "herpes."

The herpes thing I completely understood. I wrote a post about Anthony asking me about that very topic, so if someone typed that word into their computer my site might possibly come up. It's the capicola fart people who have me intrigued. First of all, I think it's awesome that typing those two words into your computer will take you to my site and secondly, who exactly wants to know about capicola farts? If you are the capicola fart people, let me just tell you that carrying around Gas-X will help any problems you are having in that area. I pop those little tablets all day long and now I never have to worry about the accidental fart, which as we know is cute when you are four, but completely humiliating when you enter adulthood. Then it goes back to being cute when you are like 80, but that's a long way off for me.

Oh, I also learned that 191 people viewed my "please endure the picture post" post. I wrote it awhile back when we got back from our road trip to NY and Vermont. Most of my other posts have about 20 page views. If I was smart I would start posting picture posts all the time, because obviously people like looking at pictures. I suppose it's easier to look at pictures than it is to read, but I like writing and also, I don't want to let the capicola fart people down.

Sometimes I write things that possibly lead people to think I have no intelligent thoughts in my head. This post would be a good example of such writing, but the truth is I do have thoughts that border on, if not fully intelligent, at least not completely idiotic. I had something happen to me yesterday in which I realized I'm probably not taken seriously even when I am being serious and so I had the notion that I was going to turn my blog into a serious, thought provoking site in which people would pour over every word I say while they were wearing their smart glasses. But then I got on here and decided writing about capicola farts may possibly brighten someone's day and to me, that's just a better deal.

Goodbye my adoring capicola farts. Yes, that is what I am going to start calling my readers. Don't be insulted. I use the word with all the love in my heart.


Terri (#1 capicola fart) said...

All I can say is omg! LOL!
This blog is awesome.

ann marie said...

Thank #1 capicola fart! Knowing you laughed makes me happy :) Truly. It makes writing that much more fun :)

Julie said...

You make me so happy!!

Tiffany said...

I laughed too! I think it's hilarious that anyone would search for a capicola fart and even funnier that it would send them to your blog. Awesomenes..

deborah Macfarlane (sister of Ann Marie) said...

This post REALLY is one of the most comical
and it just reiterates my belief that you need to write a book. ONE MORE THING...
Our Nana always said there was nothing like a sister
and I am hoping when Ann Marie gets a Pulitzer
the press will be all over me like they are with Kate
Middleton's sister...I will be partying in Paris and all!!!!

Heidi L. said...

Ummm....h i l a r i o u s!!! I desperately need new contacts so as I first read the title "capicola farts", I blinked to clear my vision...just to make sure I read it correctly! Yep, I did made me laugh..out bed...while Tony was asleep!! He's gonna ban me from reading your blog after a certain time of night!

PS...Have I lately...that I love YOU?!? ; )

ann marie said...

Julie, thank you. Two posts in one week, thanks to you! Tiffany, I am still trying to figure out who searches that stuff and I can't stop laughing about it. Deborah, yes, you are the Pippa of Delmar, perky butt and all! Don't worry, you will be traveling the globe with me. No stops at IHOP, though. Heidi, just knowing you possibly woke Tony up by laughing is making me laugh. Does that make me rotten?Oh, and that song has been stuck in my head for quite some time now!

Julie said...

There needs to be a way to "like" blogspot comments, if there were I'd "like" all of the above!

Sonya said...

You are mentally hilarious! Keep it up!

Anonymous said...