Monday, May 7, 2012


I missed two days of posting, but I have a good excuse. I was tired. After staying up for much of the night on Friday walking in the Relay for Life and eating ridiculous amounts of junk food while doing it, I crashed and slept all day on Saturday. I felt like I had a hangover minus all the humiliating tales that go along with that. As for yesterday, it was Sunday, otherwise known as The Lord's Day to the most holy among us, and as I'm sure you have surmised by all of my writings, I am most holy, so I simply couldn't post as it would have felt wrong to put forth any kind of effort on anything that wasn't related to lounging around my house with bible in hand.

Writing everyday is killing me. I have a shortage of time and things to say. This is currently the only thing on my mind...

I'm trying convince my husband that texting should replace all other forms of communication between us. Here's a list proving why it's good.

I can't yell in a text ( although I can still yell while I am texting, he just can't hear it)
I can't eye roll in a text ( see above)
I can't interrupt in a text ( see above)
I can't act disinterested in what he is saying in a text ( see above)
I can't talk for too long in a text - this is completely true. I can't. Texting is difficult and exhausting work.

Although it took me awhile to catch onto to the whole computer craze, I fell in love when I discovered emailing could eliminate all need for face to face communication with just about everyone. But it does take a certain amount of time and requires some level of skill with grammar, unless I am emailing my sister, in which case I never bother with periods or capitalization, but she's the only person I try and pull this off with.

Then texting came along and as with anything new in which I'm not familiar with or good at, I found it foolish and said only the ignorant and young would use it. That was until last summer when I got a better phone with a good keypad and discovered that texting is far superior to emailing and most definately better than talking to people in person. It's short and sweet and with cutesy symbols like :) or the more sly ;) you always seem excited about life! And for the time pressed person like me who spends her days researching important topics ranging from, "how to double brew your coffee"  to "does drinking white tea eliminate wrinkles," I need a way to communicate with people that involves not really communicating with people. Texting is it for me.

The only thing quicker and easier and possibly ready to replace texting is grunting. There really are only a few sounds we need to make to let people no how we're feeling. "UGH!" Or "eh." Or "yay!"  You have disgust, indifference and excitement right there. If there are more human emotions than those I certainly don't know of any. With any luck, all of my attempts at not talking to people will soon result in my inability to form a coherent sentence and grunting will become my only way of communicating, which really should make my husband and kids happy and that really is my only goal in life.

Happy grunting capicola farts!


Julie said...


Terri (still the biggest fan of capicola) said...

I say:

Terri (still the biggest fan of capicola) said...

oh darn, blogger won't let me use html tags so you got an incomplete response.
Here's what I wanted to say:
snort snort!

Tiffany said...

I love texting and many days it is my main form of communicating to most everyone outside of my kids. Ollie and I do our best communicating through texting and e-mail. He hates to discuss "business," so any business I need to discuss--his schedule, mine, the kids, etc. I just e-mail him or text him. Much, much better and now when he claims that I never told him something I have proof. :0)

Anonymous Loatman said...

I know the day isn't over but where is your post?