Saturday, July 7, 2012


I've been busy and haven't had time to write and also, I've just been lazy with the writing and ALSO, no one seemed to notice I wasn't writing so I thought forget them, if they aren't even going to fawn all over me and beg me to write, they can kiss my behind. But now I have a free moment so I'm writing. Commence fawning because this post is going to be so fantastic, so mind blowing, you won't know what to do when it's all over. And then you will start begging for posts for sure.

Here comes a train of thought post -

Kate's life (and ours) has been hijacked by softball and All Stars. I signed her up to play All Stars way back in May and she was quite upset with me because I didn't ask her permission first, to which I could only respond, "yeah, whatever Kate, you'll thank me when this is over," and guess who won MVP for the All Star season - Kate! ( even though I should have won it as sitting in the parking lot for two hours every night while watching the girls practice for a full month was completely exhausting) Anyway, I got to hang that over her head and tell her she had me to thank for the MVP award as her father is a total pushover and when the kids say they don't want to do something he listens to them and so he never would have signed her up to play softball without asking her first. This is the thing about parenting - you must never listen to your kids. They really don't know what's best for them. Your only job is to get them to bend to your will in every circumstance until they resemble you exactly. Well, not exactly -  they need to be more perfect version of you, because you kind of suck and are lazy and never would have played softball in a million years in high school because you were a pathetic athlete and student and human being and you'll be damned if your kids are going to turn out like you!

Anyway, where was I? Yes, Kate won MVP, but for some strange reason her coach gave it to her mid way through All Star season before they even had moved onto to "States". Last night, after a somewhat blah performance on her part I wanted to yell out to her, "Hey, Katherine ( that's what I call her when I'm less than impressed with her) stop resting on your laurels!" She would have laughed but the parents would have thought I was cruel and I have spent the past six weeks trying to pretend I'm a real sweety pie ( if they're giving out an MVP award for phoniness I would win, hands down). She had a great game this afternoon, as did all of her team mates. They play again tonight and in between games she called me and I could hear the smile on her face. If they win two more games they will go to North Carolina and even though she knows the chances of that happening are slim to none, just the thought of it, just the possibility, has her beaming and I wanted to cry when I heard her voice.

As for the other children, Jane will be sixteen in two weeks. Sixteen! I feel like I was just laying in the  hospital  ambulance giving birth to her. No, it really, really feels like it was yesterday. Oh my, I'm gonna start crying right now. I can remember every single about that day, from my Nana getting ready to make peppers and onions, to my dad telling us to please hurry and get in the car because I was pretty sure I was in labor but I was taking my sweet time getting my bag, because if I wasn't in labor and I got all the way to the hospital I was going to feel like a real jerk. And I remember not being able to get in touch with my sister, the same sister who called me every single morning for four straight weeks to ask if I was in labor and then when I finally went into labor she was a MIA! But alas, I had Jane in the ambulance on the side of the New York State Thruway and they brought me to the hospital and I could hear this crazy lady outside my room and it was my sister, she had been at a friend's house and she just knew that was going to happen, she knew I was going to have the baby before she could get a chance to come to the hospital and boss me around one more time before I became a mother.

She went out and got Greg hamburgers from McDonalds because he was starving and they put cheese on the burgers and Greg, ever the food critic said, "this is why I hate McDonalds, they can't get anything right." Then he complained of a headache and had the nurse check his blood pressure and I did a large, huge, tremendous eye roll and made a comment about how I was pretty sure I was the one who just gave birth, without drugs, in an ambulance, on the side of a highway and you, you are seriously doing this now? Someone reminded me becoming a father can be quite overwhelming, cut the guy some slack, but no, my mother and Nana did not raise me to cut any husband any slack, so no slack was given now or ever and I can report that is the secret to a happy marriage. Don't cut slack!! Of course the happiness may be one sided, but please, do you have any idea how hard it would be to make both people in the marriage happy? I do believe it's never been done, so just go ahead and be the happy one.

Anyhow, Jane is at friend's house for a sleep over. A friend who is eighteen! Eighteen! Do you know what eighteen year old people do? I do, because I used to be one, but as some of you may know, I was an ass (mother and father, I'm just kidding, I was a complete angel)  and Jane is not at all that way, nor are her friends. I did have to tell them of my expectations though, which embarrassed Jane - like I care! I did tell her if I could not reach her by phone I would come looking for her and I would drive around her friend's house and I would scream and yell and carry on and she looked at her friend and said, "yeah, my mom will do that." And then she said, "that's why I love you though mommy." She still calls me mommy and Greg, daddy, and she still acts like a little kid sometimes, but now and again I get a glimpse of the person she's going to be someday and I smile. And thank God. I then I go back to praying. I pray a lot these days. Teens are not nearly as awful as they've been made out to be but they are exhausting and if you aren't praying through it I have no idea how you do it. Hours and hours of bike riding have gone into me pouring out my thoughts to God and Mary. To my closest friends who hear all my worries, just be thankful I pray because you have no idea how much worse it could be if I didn't!

This is so long and boring and not at all the kind of post that will have you fawning, but my kids will like it, so that's good enough for me. Have a nice weekend everyone!


Julie said...

More more more!!!

PLUS...I am the FIRST commenter and I most certainly did notice that you weren't writing!!

Terri (#1 fan) said...

my mother and Nana did not raise me to cut any husband any slack, so no slack was given now or ever and I can report that is the secret to a happy marriage. Don't cut slack!!
LOL This part had me CRACKING up!

Also the part about your sister bossing you around one more time before you became a mother. LOL

You have great kids! :)

I have to ditto Julie too.. ..

more writing! more writing! more writing!

Anonymous said...

I LOVE IT ALL! Thank you for writing and showing me how to get here! I would have never found it!I want to see more!

Anonymous said...

I just returned from a vacation and had no internet so was THRILLED to finally read this post!
Why did I buy Greg cheeseburger's?! WHAT A FOOL!!!
You left out the greatest part of your birthing story with Nana saying the rosary outside the ambulance!
How many hundreds of thousands of prayers do you think she said for her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren!!!!?
KATE IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deborah Macfarlane (sister of Ann Marie) said...

the crowd is looking for some reading material!!!

Julie said...

Um... HELLOO?! Anybody home?