Dear Annmarie Hacic, Where did you go Annmarie? We miss you and to prove it we're going to lower your interest rate, but first you have to come back. Don't let this opportunity slip through your fingers. Do you want to live the life you've been dreaming about? All you have to do to start making that happen is call 1-800-888-8888 and someone will be ready to assist you in getting back the life you deserve to be living.
I think we can all agree that the level of sincerity in this letter is hard to beat. I got this very letter yesterday and read it to Greg as though I was reading a letter from a long lost love and sure enough, it was amusing. How do I know? Because I saw Greg crack a grin. In real people terms, that counts as twenty minutes of on your knees belly laughter. On top of the grin he told me to stop it. See, he was worried he was going to start laughing really hard and then I would have proof that he finds me funny. Just try it though because it really is fun.
Only one person picked up on a glaring mistake I made a few posts back. I wrote "illicit" when I meant "elicit." I'm assuming the anonymous commenter who picked up on it was my father. Just watch. He'll leave another comment here referring to himself in the third person in which he will address whether or not he was the one to notice the mistake. I'm actually glad he pointed it out. I need to go back and edit the post, but I didn't really want to do that because then his comment won't make any sense. After I was made aware of what I did I wondered if I was going to become one of those people who starts writing half when I really mean have. Like, "I half to go to the store."
I sent the children on a bike ride for forty minutes. Sometimes people ask if I feel like my kids are missing anything by not being in school and usually the only thing I can come up with is gym class. Not the actual physical activity, because they get plenty of that, but what they are missing is the mean gym teacher who yells at them and acts like an idiot and tells them they'll get fat and flabby arms if they don't move. Jane had a teacher do that to her in the third grade, so I went down to the school and told the PE teacher she would have to apologize to my daughter. And then I told the gym teacher that someday we would all be sitting around our Thanksgiving table telling tales of long ago and my daughter would say, "hey, remember that really mean gym teacher who told me I was going to get fat and flabby arms and mommy went in to the school and made her apologize to me?" I probably didn't need to say that to the teacher, but sometimes people need to think about what they've done and that's where I come in and help. So anyway, I decided to become the mean gym teacher and made my kids do some sit ups and push ups and go ride their bikes. Also, I would like to point out that I move constantly and I still have fat and flabby arms so the gym teacher was completely incorrect in her assessment of what creates fat and flabby arms.
That's all I've got for today.